p u sh e d th e b a r fo r su c h events. N ow
everyone wall try to to p it,” sh e adds.
T h is is h o w th e cycle starts, and
so o n en o u g h , m aterialism begins
d ic tatin g lifestyle choices. “I love sim ple
dhaba
food, b u t b ecau se o f th e circle I
m ove in, I e n d u p b ein g a t a five-star
p u b o r re sta u ra n t even,' Friday,” ru es
R a ch it M eh ro tra, a D elhi resid en t. Ju s t
for societal approval, h e en d s u p n e ith e r
en joying th e ev en in g n o r sp e n d in g his
m o n ey th e w ay h e w o u ld like to.
Sadly, kids are n o t im m u n e to this
eidier. “F o r m y so n ’s birthday, I u se d to
give h o m e -m ad e ch o co lates o r sm all
toys as re tu rn gifts, b u t n o w th a t’s n o t
sufficient,” says M a m ta M akhija, a D elhi
hom em aker. “I feel th e p re ssu re w h e n
m y son says th a t h e to o w a n ts to give
aw ay a fancy gift.” An office colleague
tells u s ab o u t h o w h e r 13-year-old g o t
an Ip o d as a re tu rn gift recen tly w h ile
a n o th e r re c o u n ts a re c e n t D elhi
b irth d a y w h e re th e c h ild ren ’s n an n ies
to o received re tu rn gifts—n o less th a n a
salw ar kam eez an d shaw l each! D r
D ayal M irch an d an i, a M u m b ai-b ased
beh av io u ral ex p ert, says, “A lready kids
have to m ake p ea ce w ith su c h an
in-your-face display o f m aterialism , and
p a re n ts sim ply ad d fuel to th e fire by
flau n tin g o r talking ab o u t b u y in g th is o r
th a t car. F or th e child, th is g ets d eco d ed
as, ‘m y d ad d y stro n g est b ecau se h e w ill
b u y th a t b ig c a r’.” N arra te s M an ish a
Goyal, a N O ID A resid en t, “I n a frie n d ’s
family, th e five-year-old child d ecid es in
w h ich c a r sh e w ill go to h e r playschool
e a c h day—a Skoda, a H o n d a, o r a
Toyota! T h is is h o w h e r o v er-indulgent
p a re n ts b rib e h e r to g o to school.” D r
M irch a n d an i opines, “T h is is a classic
case o f th e ch ild ’s first ex p o su re to
m aterialism w h e re in sh e w ill learn to
d ifferen tiate b e tw e e n a big an d a sm all
car, o r c h e a p an d expensive etc. an d
sadly h e r focus m ig h t shift from a
v alue-based objective su c h as g o in g to
school to g o in g to school in a b ig car.”
T h is is a p h e n o m e n o n th a t strikes
ev ery o n e irresp ectiv e o f age o r sex, b u t
ev ery o n e’s ex p ressio n s a re different. F or
living
TRENDS
m e n it u su ally b egins w ith fancy
gadgets, b e tte r cars, an d bigger houses,
w h e re a s for w o m e n th e dissatisfaction
can seep d ee p d o w n in to b ein g u n h a p p y
w ith th e ir bodies. M en a re n ’t free from
it either. “In m y practice, th e n u m b e r o f
anorexic m en I have sta rte d g e ttin g n o w
is h u g e as co m p ared to five-seven years
back,” says D r M irch an d an i.
the complex trap
A ccording to ex p erts, th is o verdose o f
m aterialism ste m s from dissolving
fam ily values, th e o n sla u g h t o f T V an d
advertising, an d th e p re ssu re o f
co m p ariso n an d com petition. T o g eth er
th ey b re w personality' com plexes an d
ru in a p e rso n ’s m e n tal w ell-b ein g and
relationships. In h is b ook
The Price of
Materialism,
a u th o r T im K asser p o in ts
o u t th a t “T h e effect o f ad v ertisin g is to
M U S T - R E A D S ^ ^ ^ H
Live life fully. Seek inspiration inthese
books; there’sonefor children too!
THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED, M SCOTT PECK
By melding love, science, and religion into a
primer for personal growth, the author tells
one how to live a richer life. For him, a strong
belief in oneself is the route to happiness.
THE POWER OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS
MIND, JOSEPH MURPHY
The book tells you that life is an adventure
and a fulfilling one at that. It suggests ways
to rise above day-to-day worries.
THE SECRET, RHONDA BYRNE
The main tenet of the book is that focussed
positive thinking, coupled with self belief,
can have life-changing results such as
increased wealth, health, and happiness.
THE TIPPING POINT, MALCOLM GLADWELL
The book seeks to explain and describe the
sociological changes that mark everyday
life—some good and some bad. It tellsyou
how to make sense of these changes.
MISTER GOD, THIS IS ANNA,
SYDNEY HOPKINS
Gift this to your child. The book is about
four-year-old Anna, an orphan, who makes
sense of life better than most of us. Glean
some nuggets from it.
deliberately' m a n u fa c tu re feelings o f
inadequacy; an d fragile se lf w o rth . B u t
th e p u rsu it o f m aterialistic goals does
n o t g u a ra n te e an in crease in h a p p in e ss”.
In fact, a study' by' B righam Y oung
U niversity; in th e US, suggests th a t
m aterialistic d esires related to perceived
financial p ro b lem s b re w relatio n sh ip
dissatisfaction am o n g m a rrie d couples.
W ith sm all p leasu res b ein g sacrificed
a t th e a lta r o f m aterialism , it is n o
su rp rise th a t “M en today are b ec o m in g
an a n g rie r lot, an d w o m e n a m o re
d ep re ssed lot,” ad d s D r N agpal. “O ne
p a tie n t w h o com es to m e for
co u n sellin g is a se n io r m an ag e r a t an
M N C . S he ca n ’t g e t o ff fro m w o rk
before 10 p m an d th is is lead in g to a
total crack u p o f h e r fam ily life. B u t for
h e r to q u it is also difficult b ec au se o f
h e r p lu m p rem u n e ra tio n ,” h e recounts.
Simply' p u t, m o re m o n ey d o es n o t
tran slate in to m o re h ap p in ess. A stu d y
p u b lish ed o n th e In te rn e t fo u n d th a t in
th e US, w h ic h h as sh o w n th e g rea test
m aterialistic progress, alm o st 60% o f
th e p o p u la tio n co n su lts psychiatrists.
“W ith th e rich n ess o f sh a rin g and
ca rin g ru n n in g out, an d an association
o f m aterialism as a p o w e r sym bol—it is
no w o n d e r th a t w e are a h a rrie d society
today,” say's D r N agpal.
enough is enough
T h e re is a v ery fine lin e b etw e en b ein g
am bitious an d b e in g o ver am bitious.
‘W h e n am b itio u sn ess sta rts to d istress
y'ou o r y o u r family, o r w h e n you find
th a t you are g ro w in g a t th e co st o f sm all
th in g s like sp e n d in g an ev en in g w ith
y'our fam ily, it’s th e tim e to stop, think,
an d re-p rio ritize y o u r aim s,” says D r
N agpal. M in d y'ou, m aterialism is like an
addiction. F irst y'ou w a n t th e Ipod, th e n
th e b ra n d e d clothes, th e n th e bigger
house, an d so o n —today'’s lu x u ries
b eco m e to m o rro w ’s necessities.
“M aterialistic th in g s give an im m ed iate
h igh b u t th a t is u su ally only tem porary';
as soon as one ‘h ig h ’ w ears o ff w e go in
search o f a n o th e r ‘fix’. W e b eco m e
psychologically d e p e n d e n t o n o u r
48
JANUARY 2011 BETTER HOM ES AND GARDENS
